WHAT DID YOU SAY?????
The following is a list of comments made by various parents and people over the 4 1/2 years of being a mother and the answers I would have liked to have expressed if I weren't so shocked at the time of impact:
10. Is that a Baby Lulu? No? Why, that almost looks like a real dress! Yes, you can buy real dresses for less than $60.00.
9. Oh, my son, he has his father's eyes, but hopefully he won't have anything else that resembles him. Okay, and you married this man for what reason?
8. I breast fed her until she was 4. It was quite the bonding experience. I would say so. Do you have any breasts left?
7. Benedryl works wonders. If he wakes up in the middle of the night, I just squirt a tablespoon in his mouth, and BAM, he's out like a light. Great, by ten, your child will be snorting heroin to get a good night sleep.
6. Are you teaching your children Japanese? No, they are having a hard enough time with English at this juncture.
5. Did you actually circumcise your son? Poor child. I know, he looks down at his penis everyday and says, why, mommy, why did you do this to me??????
4. You didn't breastfeed your children? Well, they look okay. Why thank you, and by the way, aren't you the same woman that breastfed your child until she was 4?
3. Do you know that my child is gifted? His teachers told me. He can tie his shoes and knows the National Anthem by heart. Great. But can he do these stunts at the same time?
2. Have you thought about changing the salon were you get your children's hair cut? No, I like my children to look like homeless ragamuffins.
AND THE NUMBER ONE INSANE COMMENT:
1. Now which one is the girl and which one is the boy? The boy is wearing the dress and the girl has the Speed Racer T-Shirt and shorts on.
I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR!!!
Yesterday, I had lunch with my step-mother and my little sister. My little sister, who is turning 18 in a month, is graduating next year from high school and in the process of looking at colleges. One of the colleges she visited in August was Hofstra University.
When I heard this, my heart skipped a beat.
"Did you like it?" I squealed.
She said she REALLY liked it.
I became so excited. The reason being, 21 years ago, I was accepted to Hofstra University and wanted to go there desperately. At that time, I was under the illusion that my family was under the same impression as I was; that a woman could do anything and go anywhere she wanted, and that is exactly where I wanted to go; Hofstra University.
I was brought up to believe in equal rights for both men and women. But, I never understood why the equal rights issue needed to be discussed; I always thought it was just a given.
That is why when my father sat me down one night to talk about going to Hofstra, I thought we were just going to talk about the semantics of grants, loans and what-nots. My excitement, I remember, overwhelmed me. Instead, I heard the following,
"We have your brother in college and I am not going to spend hard earned money for you to go to that college so you can just find a husband and get married. Your brother's education is more important than yours. He will have to support a family some day,"
That was the spring of 1986 and when I became keenly aware, with eyes wide open, to the lies I have been told and raised with since I was a child. All that hippie-dippie bullshit I was fed daily from a liar's spoon upon a distorted plate was just a fad; something that was in-style and cool at the time, but certainly not a true belief in thought.
Also, he did not know me at all.
After he uttered those words, I became lost, for a very long time. Everything I believed in was just a passing phase for my father and I was finally hearing the truth for the very first time.
So it was good-bye Hofstra! Hello, Shippensburg State University; the place where women looking for husbands go!
BTW - I didn't find a husband at that fine institution of betrothal! It took me 8 more years to FINALLY marry a man. So, technically, college was just a waste of time. Oh, well.... shoot me!
And so yesterday, when I saw the look in my sister's eyes as she spoke of her anticipated plans after high school; it was the same look I had so long ago before that spring night. It was an expression of eager anticipation about the future and completely believing in it. I loved seeing the purity of that belief etched seamlessly on her face. I will always remember and cherish it.
Finally, there is a young woman, in my family, who can do what she god damn well pleases; a young woman, in my family, who is in charge of her own future.
Hallelujah!!!
