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Criticism: It exists. Quit crying.

Hi. My name is Brian C. Neri, and I'm an asshole. Well, maybe.

Some of you here on Rafters might recognize me from scathing comments I've likely made about your submissions. Since several people have expressed their disdain for such a practice I wanted to take some time and question why we're so critical of those who are critical of ourselves.


I've been called plenty of names for my methods of interaction, but I feel asshole is the term that best incorporates my point. To be perfectly honest with you, I don't mind it. As a columnist, my objective is to get a reaction. I'd rather receive piles of hate mail than bland compliments or - even worse - indifference. You might have noticed that I introduced myself as an asshole. I understand that perception is reality for most people, so if that's how I'm perceived, I'm okay with recognizing that. However, I'm also aware that saying something does not make it so. I can call my Dad a successful politician all I'd like and he's still going to be an AC repairman with a receding hairline and a gut. Well, at least he's got the drinking problem of a Kennedy.


Without getting too far into the psychology of things, people don't like criticism because most people are unable to separate symbolic action from reality. The human dependence on language means that we're stuck interacting with each other through crude sounds and symbols that are supposed to represent the way we interpret particular chemical interactions in our brains. We often live symbolically rather than physically. A harsh comment about someone's work is processed in much the same way as a physical threat to our well being. If we live symbolically, we can't very well let someone hurt us symbolically, and that's when someone will begin to be a Sensitive Sally. You write a paragraph about a restaurant or night club because you want people on Rafter's to see you as a hip, cultured socialite, then you get upset when someone calls you out on it. I'd be more sympathetic if you just didn't wear your heart on your sleeve, popped collar, or blowout haircut.

Further thoughts on criticism

If you're posting on Rafters, you are putting yourself onto a forum where others have the right to critique your submissions. If a submission is lacking, it should be noted. Are we only supposed to provide empty lip service for our fellow Rafters? "Hey Joel, I really enjoyed your run-on sentence about how you hate waiting for the leg press machine at the gym. Truly insightful."


Additionally, as there is nothing wrong with being critical of someone's work, there is also nothing wrong with the delivery of said criticism. Most people don't want to hear that their submission is terrible, meaning that they won't be happy no matter how you go about it. (On a side note, I found it interesting that some of the responses to my "cruel" criticisms were typically far more intentionally mean-spirited than the initial comments they were complaining about, but that's a freudian analysis for another day).


That being said, I encourage everyone to put as much style into their writing as possible, whether it be comments or submissions. Be analytical, be logical, be a complete dick. Just be interesting. Rafters allows us webspace to post our thoughts, and at the end of the day, our only responsibility on this site is to use that space in the most entertaining way possible. Despite the enjoyable in-fighting among columnists here, we've all got a vested interest in working together on some level to help Rafters succeed. And, although it is unfortunate for some, mocking others is just something I'm really good at.
Sorry. I'm an asshole sometimes.


- BCN -